Christians argue whether Bono and U2
are in fact Christian. And I’ll use the 5 stages of grief, a favorite of mine,
to put it all together.
Stage 1: Denial
U2 is a Christian band:
Are you kidding me? They love the Lord! Of course they’re Christian! Have
you heard the song “Magnificent?” That thing is practically a hymn. Here are
some of the lyrics: “I was born, I was born to sing for you. I didn’t have a
choice but to lift you up and sing whatever song you wanted me to. I give you
back my voice. From the womb my first cry, it was a joyful noise…” That’s like
an Irish version of John Newton.
U2 is not a Christian band:
Remember that time Bono swore during that awards ceremony? Was that part of
the gospel? I mean it wasn’t even a safe
Christian swear, it was one of the real ones. Was that a Bible verse? Does the
Message swear? It’s been so long since I read it.
Stage 2: Anger
U2 is a Christian band:
I didn’t want to do this, but I’m afraid you forced my hand. You literally
forced my hand. Watch the video of Bono and Bill Hybels, the pastor of one of
the biggest churches on
the planet. Then try to tell me he isn’t a Christian.
Just try!
U2 is not a Christian band:
Has Bono or Edge or the other guys who have the names we forget, have any of
them ever come out and said, “I’m a born again Christian?” Have they? Have
they? Until that happens, in that exact way and in those exact words, I don’t
even want to have this conversation.
Stage 3: Bargaining
U2 is a Christian band:
Here’s the thing. I don’t know the drummer’s name, so I am more than willing
to believe he’s not a Christian. But you’ve got to give me Bono. Come on, you
give me Bono and I’ll stop saying “U2 is a Christian band” and will instead
just say, “Bono is a Christian.”
U2 is not a Christian band:
OK, I’ve listened to a bunch of their music, I am willing to admit that in
some ways they write “Christian music.” Their melodies are very “Christian
like.” I’m not sure what that means but I value our friendship so I don’t want
to fight over this.
Stage 4: Depression
U2 is a Christian band:
Oh man, what if they’re not? Do I have to throw out all my albums? I’m
probably going to buy them again, but should I throw them out in some sort of post
retreat guilt-induced panic? I’ll do it, I swear I’ll do it.
U2 is not a Christian band:
Oh man, what if they are a Christian band? I’ve been listening to “I still
haven’t found what I’ve been looking for” and those lyrics make a pretty
compelling argument. I mean look at this, “You broke the bonds and you loosed
the chains, carried the cross of my shame, of my shame, you know I believed
it.” Bono literally says, you “carried the cross of my shame,” and he “believed
it.” Jeez, am I a jerk for doubting his faith? If one of my friends told me,
Christ “carried the cross of my shame” and that he “believed it,” would I doubt
him? No, I wouldn’t, so why am I so crazy about Bono’s faith?
Stage 5: Acceptance
U2 is a Christian band:
OK, I still like their music. I’m not getting rid of my music. I don’t care
if they’re Christian. I’m going to let that go and focus on other things. Like
I don’t know, loving my neighbor.
U2 is not a Christian band:
